What to do with a Republican family?

My politics are my late grandmother’s, who was born in 1917, saw her father lose most everything in the Depression, saw most of her extended relatives get killed in the Holocaust, and who obsessively watched TV news, shouting at the insanity of the world. That is, pretty Democratic.

My siblings, on the other hand, are 3 of the 4 legs of the modern Republican party- pro-Israel Hawkishness, pro-gun libertarian, and pro-wealth social moderate. No evangelical Christians. And so, this is the text of my last email to them. Direct conversion is out of the question:

Hey boys,
Well, today we mailed in our absentee ballots, and we’re briefly out of the country for the election, celebrating my friend Laura’s wedding. And of course I voted for Obama. I’m hoping he wins and is awesome, and not a crazy person after all. So I’d like to get in a little pre-emptive scenario watching:

1) he loses, McCain is awesome, and I have to eat crow from you all for the next 4 years.
1a) he loses, McCain is a disaster, and I get to bitch and moan to you all for the next 4 years

2) he wins, but he’s terrible, and I have to spend the next 4 years alternating between apologizing for him and defending him.
2b) he wins, and he’s awesome. And I get to rub it in.

and my secret hope:

3) he wins, and he’s super-duper-awesome, delivering much of what he promises in terms of substance, change, and hope. And you morons end up being the people who have to explain to your children and grandchildren why you voted against Gandhi/Abraham Lincoln/Superman, and instead you voted for that other dude and his Mavericky, one-note sidekick..

Think about that. There’s still time to change your minds.

Anyhow, I’ll see y’all in December, and sorry to miss you in Nov. Hope your Halloweens are wonderful. This year I’m going as a bright-eyed optimist, ready to work as if I live in the early days of a better nation.

your far-left, palling-around-with-terrorist-loving, anti-Israel, anti-American, elitist, pro-gay-marriage, pro-disarmament, spreading-the-wealth-around, baby brother.

We’ll see if mocking+history works where reasoned argument fails.

Comments are disabled for this post